So, I just deleted the original post I wrote about my opening performance of Cenerentola in Miami. (I want everyone who commented on that particular post to know I appreciate their thoughts, and I saved them all in a file on my computer). In the post, I talk about the fact that while the performance went incredibly well, there was one note that wasn't as perfect as I wanted it to be. Not only have I realized in the last day or so how much I was overreacting about that one note, but a friend and fellow singer and blogger reminded me that writing your own bad review and publishing it on the internet is not exactly conducive to furthering one's career, nor is it fair to one's public who may have loved your performance and doesn't want or need to know about your picky little perfectionist problems with it. Writing my blog is cathartic and a way for me to work out how I'm feeling about things, but it's not my job to tell other people how I sang in a performance - it's only my job to sing the performance.
But I am happy to talk about how I felt during the performance. I was relaxed and centered, and even able to enjoy myself and try new things. My voice did what I wanted it to do, which allowed me to act with abandon and communicate in the fullest way possible. Are there things I would like to do differently and even better? Always. Can I be content with how far I feel I've come both vocally and dramatically with this repertoire, and about the fact that I seem to have completely overcome my issues with nerves? Absolutely.
I just hope the woman who does my makeup for tomorrow's show isn't mad that my nose is a little sunburned from spending all day today at the beach. Yes, I swam in the ocean. Yes, you can hate me for it if you need to. But just remember that I return to the 18 degree weather and dirty snow banks in just over a week, and knowing that is punishment enough.